Skip to main content

Sympathy Is The Last Thing I Need


Please just stop.

Stop trying to sympathize with me.

Contrary to what you think, you're coming off as an asshole. Your comments aren't asked for. Your attitude certainly isn't requested.

Do you suffer from chronic migraine?

Or any condition that causes chronic pain?

Are you constantly left feeling fatigued even if you've just woken up from a full night's rest?

Do you look healthy, even if you really, really aren't?

If you answered no, politely sit down and shut up.

Now simply listen.

Don't talk.

If I express that I'm in pain, just leave it at that. Sometimes I just need to say it out loud. Sometimes I just need the person who is closest to me to know that I can't see anything. I need someone to be aware that I'm not doing great.

What I don't need is a response.

I don't need to hear how your husband or brother or best friend or ex gets this way sometimes.

I don't need to have you explain to me that yeah the pollen levels are really taking a toll on everyone.

I could live in a fucking bubble and still have my chronic condition.

I can't spend my whole life educating people. I can't ask of anyone to do anything.

But it would be so nice for once if people could just skip past all the bullshit and be straightforward. I know you don't understand what I'm going through. I know at face value, to you, it's just a headache. But pretending to understand and then turning around and doing something that'll worsen my condition needs to stop.

Apologies, I'm moody today.

At the end of the day. All of this, this whole mess that I never asked for, continues to just pile up and its hard. Its heavy. And its really dark.

So forgive me when I roll my eyes when you're "tired" because you were out half the night. I'm standing next to you and I slept for 10 hours and woke up more tired than I was when I went to bed.

Forgive me when I don't feel bad for you because your head hurts. You can pop an Advil and be fine within the hour.

Forgive me for not wanting to have a conversation with anyone when I get off work. Standing for 8 hours straight and being extremely pleasant is extremely difficult, especially if I've been in pain the whole time.

I live alone so that I can come home to a quiet house. So no, I won't text you back. Or answer your message on Facebook or Twitter that isn't urgent.

My body is failing me and I'm exhausted.

I try to put cheese back in the fridge and in an attempt to open the fridge door, I dump the cheese all over the floor.

I go to pour my coffee and realize I never pressed brew.

I physically drag myself into bed.

I try to type out a coherent thought, and it takes 10x as long to even spell half the words correctly.

So forgive me for not wanting your sympathy.

"sympathy: feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune"

The only misfortune is my inability to shove my boot up your ass for pretending to feel bad when I never asked you to in the first place.

Also, I've found a secluded cabin if anyone wants to donate to help me move in :)

 
A. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Tips and Tricks: Migraines Without Meds

We've all got that one thing that we know will make us be more comfortable, more ourselves. That little something we feel gives us an edge in whatever we're doing. It's that red pair of shoes that'll make us stand out from the crowd because there really isn't a wrong time to wear them, but they certainly aren't expected. It's that lucky pair of socks. It's the green scarf. It's our lucky pen. We want to be comfortable. But, when we've got outside forces controlling a pulsing sensation in our heads, comfort is about as far away as the sun we're desperately trying to avoid. And if you're in my position, reaching for the bottle of pain killers isn't always the right choice. To be completely honest, my pain meds scare me. Every time I get into some trance while I'm on them. Every time I feel myself coming down. Every time the pain sneaks back in. Some days I convince myself that the medication simply wore off and the br
Post a Comment
Read more

It Hurts

To say I feel less than human, is probably a bit of an understatement. But I do. I've been home for a week. I've managed to pretty much lay in bed in agonizing pain the whole time. I had a half-assed attempt to see a friend that resulted in me rushing home as the nausea and aphasia set in. I successfully made it to massage therapy today. Which meant even after sleeping for roughly 2 hours, I got up at 7:30 and sat in traffic for hours to get to a less than expected appointment. Mind you, my previous massage therapist was so wonderful I'm most likely spoiled to other techniques. This lady was late, she sat in the same god awful traffic I did. We spent more time going over the woes of her morning, than we did discussing why I was there and what I hoped to achieve through various massage techniques. The massage room wasn't dimly lit, and even as the massage started, lights were still on. I found this odd, but decided to just keep my eyes closed. Then she started
1 comment
Read more

Here's My Advice, Take it or Leave It

On one of my last days of work, as I cradled my head and struggled to get through the short shift I had that evening, on the way out, my coworker looked at me and said: "You know, for as bad as you feel, you certainly don't show it" It was the first time I stepped back from a comment like that and realized that she wasn't trying to diminish me. She was coming from a common place. She knew exactly the pain I was in, and was truly almost impressed that I could go on with my day and appear to be a high functioning adult. And that is where this post came from. There's so many of us, who day in and day out are fighting. Fighting for the pain to stop. Fighting for those around us to just let us be or try and understand us. Fighting to hide what's going on. We're all simply fighting to be normal, but we never will be, and that's okay. I took the time to reach out to people with conditions ranging from migraines (like mine), to anxiety and depressio
Post a Comment
Read more