Perhaps Its Contagious

I noticed today, while rolling over on my couch trying to find some sense of relief, that my bear looks exactly how I feel.

He's hunched over and looks like he is very done with the day. Me too Mr. Bear. Me too.

Today started out so good. I had this little burst of energy that diminished by the time I had eaten breakfast and started on my reading homework... maybe I just never need to pick up another book.

And so I shifted back into my regular routine of rubbing essential oils on my face, getting my diffuser going, altering the lighting and reading what I could. Then the routine continued on to my decision to take some medication, realizing this migraine could get really bad really quick.

By the time I finished the one small errand I had for the day, I was completely nauseated, could barely see, and couldn't stop shaking. You know, it is awfully hard to prepare lunch when you just want to throw up. Let alone eat the prepared lunch, knowing eating it will make me feel better, but knowing it just might not stay down.

So maybe that's what my bear's up to... maybe he's getting sick.

Following my even more normal routine, I canceled my plans for the afternoon. I don't think anyone will ever fully understand how painful it is to make plans, knowing good and well there's a 95% chance, that those plans will be canceled. Especially since I canceled plans last time. Especially since I've already canceled future plans. Guess who got to cash in our their Bon Jovi ticket insurance because they aren't going anymore? That's right, y'all. It's me.

Every thing in this world that made me normal or made me love life, has been canceled.

I canceled today on going out to this new coffee shop I heard of. I. Alex Tomlinson. Canceled on coffee.

I canceled a concert I desperately wanted to attend because I missed it last year.

I get to sell my Country USA tickets when they arrive in May too.

Not that I love finals or anything, but I'm sure I'll have to cancel important meetings with group members for final projects, or cancel the final and reschedule since you know I've missed god knows how many exams already this semester.

I can probably already say that my hopes and aspirations for this summer, can be canceled. Who wouldn't want to decide not to go see Def Leppard and Journey on the 4th of July?

I can cancel out the idea of trying to find a second job over the summer... I can barely consistently make it to the job I have.

So here's to canceled plans and the interesting connection I seem to share with my bear today. Hopefully he perks up soon.

-A

Comments

It Hurts

To say I feel less than human, is probably a bit of an understatement. But I do. I've been home for a week. I've managed to pretty much lay in bed in agonizing pain the whole time. I had a half-assed attempt to see a friend that resulted in me rushing home as the nausea and aphasia set in. I successfully made it to massage therapy today. Which meant even after sleeping for roughly 2 hours, I got up at 7:30 and sat in traffic for hours to get to a less than expected appointment. Mind you, my previous massage therapist was so wonderful I'm most likely spoiled to other techniques. This lady was late, she sat in the same god awful traffic I did. We spent more time going over the woes of her morning, than we did discussing why I was there and what I hoped to achieve through various massage techniques. The massage room wasn't dimly lit, and even as the massage started, lights were still on. I found this odd, but decided to just keep my eyes closed. Then she started ...

Positive Notes

Here I go mixing things up before things have really taken off. My featured picture is intended to represent the way chronic illnesses and disabilities are only really seen in black and white. My words are intended to fill in all that grey space that is ignored. But today I needed a little color. Because at the end of the day, there's a lot of brightness and light and hope that is key component to my every day battle. So here's a sneak peak and my brand new apartment. I think I've spent the last 4 or 5 years waiting for the day that I had a place of my own. Not because I wanted freedom to do what I pleased or had the same urge to be an adult and do adult things. I in no way want to make anyone think that adulting is fun or recommended for anyone. I didn't want my own place. I needed it. I needed to not have to snarl at my parents for running the garbage disposal or cutting the grass when my head hurt too badly to get out of bed. I couldn't take one more la...

Tips and Tricks: Migraines Without Meds

We've all got that one thing that we know will make us be more comfortable, more ourselves. That little something we feel gives us an edge in whatever we're doing. It's that red pair of shoes that'll make us stand out from the crowd because there really isn't a wrong time to wear them, but they certainly aren't expected. It's that lucky pair of socks. It's the green scarf. It's our lucky pen. We want to be comfortable. But, when we've got outside forces controlling a pulsing sensation in our heads, comfort is about as far away as the sun we're desperately trying to avoid. And if you're in my position, reaching for the bottle of pain killers isn't always the right choice. To be completely honest, my pain meds scare me. Every time I get into some trance while I'm on them. Every time I feel myself coming down. Every time the pain sneaks back in. Some days I convince myself that the medication simply wore off and the br...

My Life. My Migraine.

Search This Blog