My Life. My Migraine.

Hey Jon Bon Jovi, this ones for you. I sold my ticket that I had to your concert tonight, because as much as I'd love to say that in my lifetime I still got to experience the same excitement and vibrant energy one of your concerts brings, my health decided that isn't in my fate. So as all my friends prepare for the night out full of blaring music and bright lights that will result in a night they won't forget, I'll be at home. Maybe taking the 3rd nap of the day. Maybe struggling through studying for exams. Maybe I'll already be calling it a day by the time you step onto stage. I'm sure it'll be a wonderful night. ... I don't think people realize how much stuff like this hurts. I missed the concert last year because the Greenville show was during too busy of a week for me to go. And today, I could have tickets in hand, but instead another lucky one of my friend's friend will get to go in my place. Its truly amazing how I can love som...

    Of all the things that Migraine has taught me, appreciating and cherishing the moments I'm allowed to enjoy is the most important lesson.   When I look at this photo, I immediately think that I'm clearly channeling a migraine and using my magical migraine radar to detect some weird weather system headed our way.   If it is going to storm or rain or get warmer or colder... I know. The neurons in my brain get extra excited, so excited that they try to kill me in the process. So no my superpowers aren't as cool as Amanda Seyfried's when playing Karen Smith, letting everyone know that there's a 30 percent change that it's already raining, but hey that's okay.   But looking back at this photo, it's a day I got to enjoy. It came right before this particular migraine started way back in September.   The weather has been fairly nice here this past week... It FINALLY feels like spring. The past few days I've been blessed to actua...

I noticed today, while rolling over on my couch trying to find some sense of relief, that my bear looks exactly how I feel. He's hunched over and looks like he is very done with the day. Me too Mr. Bear. Me too. Today started out so good. I had this little burst of energy that diminished by the time I had eaten breakfast and started on my reading homework... maybe I just never need to pick up another book. And so I shifted back into my regular routine of rubbing essential oils on my face, getting my diffuser going, altering the lighting and reading what I could. Then the routine continued on to my decision to take some medication, realizing this migraine could get really bad really quick. By the time I finished the one small errand I had for the day, I was completely nauseated, could barely see, and couldn't stop shaking. You know, it is awfully hard to prepare lunch when you just want to throw up. Let alone eat the prepared lunch, knowing eating it will make me feel...

Alright, you guessed it... I caved and have officially gone off the deep end. With all of these magical "cures" that exist for the incurable migraine, I fell for one. Oh how convincing this story begins. Let me introduce you to MigraineX, a set of earplugs that have been specially designed to twist into your ears to help reduce the effects brought on by changes in barometric pressure. Now that's what got me. Barometric pressure. It's snowing in April and has been since April started. (It's the 18th and there's a foot and a half of snow outside and my head is actually spinning from the amount of pressure shifts and storm systems that have rocked my world these past few weeks). So I caved. I purchased a single set of MigraineX and Wild Thera Headcool Balm (I'll touch on this later). MigraineX is consumer proven, even though they are often mentioned as clinically proven. When asked for clinical test results, they only can provide testimonials. Thes...

Let me just start by saying something loud and clear:   There is no CURE to Migraine. Now let that sink in. Let that sink in so far that you think of all the other things in this world that don't have a cure. Cancer for example. Yeah, there's medical treatments, but nothing guarantees that it won't come back. Parkinson's Disease. Alzheimer's. Coeliac Disease. Scoliosis. Fibromyalgia. Endometriosis. Cystitis. Chron's Disease. All of these conditions, whether they develop over time, reveal themselves, or are forever ongoing conditions, all fall under that same category. As hard as we may fight, there isn't a cure. It isn't reversible. Eventually, it will win. So in all honesty, I hope your feelings get hurt. I hope you recognize where your faults lie, and how incredibility inhumane you treat individuals who may not even appear to be sick, but are suffering severely. What if I told you that Migraine fit with all these other conditions and t...

    The hardest thing is knowing that it doesn't ever stop. This particular migraine has been going on since around September. In the end of November, early December, it was easy to say that the migraine intensified as the seasons changed. At the end of January and all of February, I completely recognized that my doctor switching my medication, then taking me off it all together intensified and changed my migraine. This one is the only one that I'm positive as to the cause. While I was off my medication, my migraine was different. There was a constant stabbing pain that intensified as the days went on, and was alleviated when I was approved to go back on my original treatment plan. Now, Wisconsin can't choose which season it is, so my head is going insane. But maybe weather really has nothing to do with it. It does. But maybe it doesn't.   My old migraine app decided to shut down, so my new app only has information that I imported from March, and current info f...

Yes I still have Christmas lights up, but in my defense I haven't purchased overhead lights and these are the only lights I own... Speaking of lights... I've got one. I've got this great, powerful spark that is embedded in my soul. It is a part of who I am. It makes me push on through the dark days. It makes me smile at every unhappy soul I encounter on a daily basis. It makes me ask stranger how they are when I pass them on the side walk. So why is everyone so intent on putting that spark out? I am one of the fortunate few who doesn't have to battle depression that is so often paired with migraine. It baffles me that people can see something I'm passionate about and make me feel bad about it or the way I approach it. It baffles me that people want me to direct my energy someplace different. Isn't it enough that I'm sitting having a conversation with you about something I'm passionate about rather than the pulsing veins I feel in my head? Or the...

It's slowly becoming more and more apparent that the non-procrastinating, always trying to get ahead and stay ahead individual that I am, is failing at the "staying ahead" part of my life. I go to bed with a migraine that progressively gets worse. I wake up with a migraine that gets progressively worse. My massage therapist, noted that she could feel the pulsing in my head yesterday. She said she'd never felt it so bad... but in those moments, I didn't even notice the pulsing pain I've become so used to. Thursdays are my only days off. Its the day I have the largest list of chores and homework and little things I need to get done. Most of which are in preparation for the next week. However, I sit here fully knowing that most of my homework requires reading. But my eyes are already heavy and it isn't even 10:00AM. I know that my little chores require cleaning supplies... the kind that don't smell great... I ordered my groceries online, so I...

Here I go mixing things up before things have really taken off. My featured picture is intended to represent the way chronic illnesses and disabilities are only really seen in black and white. My words are intended to fill in all that grey space that is ignored. But today I needed a little color. Because at the end of the day, there's a lot of brightness and light and hope that is key component to my every day battle. So here's a sneak peak and my brand new apartment. I think I've spent the last 4 or 5 years waiting for the day that I had a place of my own. Not because I wanted freedom to do what I pleased or had the same urge to be an adult and do adult things. I in no way want to make anyone think that adulting is fun or recommended for anyone. I didn't want my own place. I needed it. I needed to not have to snarl at my parents for running the garbage disposal or cutting the grass when my head hurt too badly to get out of bed. I couldn't take one more la...