Skip to main content

Unwinding

 
 
Today was okay. I woke up and wasn't greeted by the horrible stabbing pain and fatigue that has become such a regular part of my day.
 
Today was actually a really good day. Work was productive and I learned all sorts of new things. I was allowed to express my personality through a design challenge that we started the day with. We were presented with a less than ideal fabric that a hypothetical client was insisting on having on a chair in their home. We then had to design an entire room around it. I was given a dark green fabric with some floral patterning to it... and I think my end design came out to be fun and very expressive.
 
I chose to compliment the dark green that would cover the chair in the left corner with a sofa and loveseat done in a creamy leather covered in bright pillows done in yellows and pinks.  To create a more dramatic feel in the room I used dark wood finishes and large pieces of art that could all be conversation pieces in the room. To me this design challenge wasn't horrendous, more of an opportunity to use skills I hadn't really learned yet. We had about half an hour to create a solution. I know this is a hypothetical room, but I would definitely enjoy seeing it come to life.
 
The way today started got me thinking that maybe, doing small things like this - design challenges, thought provoking, journaling, who knows what - could actually help me to always have something good and today quite literally, bright, in my day.
 
By now, I'm drowsy, I've taken my second dose of medication as I could feel my migraine returning early this evening, but I'm surrounding myself with comfort. Today's photo shows my way of unwinding. I've got hot chai, soft clothes, and a cozy blanket.
 
Its always hard on days like this. I know the people around me can't tell how I'm feeling, and I don't really feel like vocalizing it all that often. Its hard when I know that I can take it easy, and my migraine will still return. Its hard just wanting to be quiet, but appearing disinterested or angry instead.
 
But what isn't as hard anymore is having hope. I have hope that one day I'll be surrounded by individuals who understand me and are compassionate. I have hope that tomorrow may go as good as today, or even better.

I have hope.

And even though my neck is tensing up and my chai is running low, this hope that I have, is enough.

-A

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I Know I Look Fine

Let's all take a moment to be very honest with ourselves. If we looked the way we felt 99% of the time none of us would look all too great. This isn't something that is specific to my condition. This is something anyone can deal with. Got arthritis? Got a UTI? Getting over a cold? No one is going to proudly display the dark circles under their eyes, and lots of makeup companies have perfected concealer to hide just that. But I'll put up with your looks. Your confused faces. Your attempted sympathetic "well I hope you feel better" as I rush away from work. Why? Because there's no way you can ever SEE the pain and the symptoms I'm experiencing. Sure my pupil is literally taking over the entire blue part of my eye... but hey I'm probably just stoned or something. I don't know how you'd be able to see that my body is saying hey if you don't get into a dark room right now, lay down, and try and consume some food I'm goin...
1 comment
Read more

You See What I Show

You see my hair done. You see my makeup. You see my blemish free skin. You see a healthy glow. You don't recognize the tired, strained look in my eyes, because you've never been exposed to a truly "healthy" version of me. Forgive me for putting on the show. Forgive me for pretending that everything is fine. Forgive me for not looking sick. Forgive my negative outlook. Why? Because you don't get to see what this condition is. You don't see that I haven't slept in days. You don't see the bruises lining my legs because the heat has caused a rash on my skin. I understand that its a hard thing to wrap your head around. I mean I get it. I stood at work with a pain level 9. And as I walked around the store, it felt like someone was pushing from the inside of my skull down onto my eyelids. I had to forcibly hold back tears because the pain was so intense. I'd accidentally wander into an area where the sunlight was bouncing off of s...
Post a Comment
Read more

Trying To Live In The Middle

Between the days filled with agonizing pain and the days marked with heavy fatigue, there's this strange middle ground I occasionally find myself in. Two days ago I was in a weird, fatigued state where I didn't want to do much but scroll through social media and watch some Netflix... That day ended as I felt the sharp pain increasing behind my eyes. I barely crawled out of my bed yesterday. I barely could bring myself to eat. I'd stand up and fall over from being so dizzy. With as much liquid as I didn't consume, I certainly had to pee way too often. I basically slept on and off all day. Yesterday's pain was probably an 11. I woke up today feeling as if I should be in some migraine fog. But I'm not. The pain is still there depending on how I move. It isn't stabbing me in the face, which to me is a dramatic improvement. But its there. But here I am. In this "middle ground" where the pain is still present, but not debilitating. Whe...
Post a Comment
Read more