Skip to main content

You Don't Have To Stay Stuck


When's the last time you were actually happy? I don't mean like someone said a funny joke and you laughed and enjoyed the moment, but truly happy. Content with the way life was progressing. Content with those around you. Do you remember?

Maybe you do. Maybe you're happy now.

But, no one is showing it. It's so out of trend to have a smile on your face. It's unacceptable to be happy with the way one's life goes.

You can tell me I'm wrong all you want, but then you must be one of the few who doesn't scroll through Facebook and Twitter... which means you probably aren't even reading this.

Everyone is angry. Everyone has the whole wide world against them. He's wrong and she's wrong. The only sane person is you, right? You're dumbfounded by this world so you express yourself. But in expressing yourself, you're contributing to the endless cycle.

Everyone is depressed. Everyone has anxiety. Everyone suddenly has bipolar disorder.

We take this medication and that medication.

We throw away our money on frivolous goody boxes like singles swag and fab fit fun boxes. We treat ourselves to iced coffee after iced coffee and pretend that it somehow is going to solve our problems.

We take personal days from work and school because politics hurt our feelings. Hell campuses might even shut down to accommodate it.

But, what no one seems to be doing is holding themselves accountable.

You can't afford your tuition? Why are you at a private school that doesn't have enough money to continue giving the scholarships they promised?

You can't afford your rent? Why do you get a package from amazon delivered everyday? Why do you go out to dinner almost every night?

You continue to go to the job you hate every single day. Your coworkers drain you of energy. You hate your boss. You hate your town. You hate the friends you've been friends with since 1st grade.

But you're too afraid to do anything about it. You like your shitty job and your shitty friends because at the end of the day, their lives are the same so you don't have to justify the way you're living.

You don't have to take responsibility for who you want to be and why you haven't taken a single step to be that person.

It is all so draining. It is exhausting.

And then we encounter someone who can be happy. Someone who reaches their goals, and creates new ones.

We see someone leave to find better. We see people moving up.

We let them go and we forget who they were. We don't strive to keep in touch. We don't want to wish them the best. We don't want to see them be successful when we're stuck in the same place.

It all just baffles me.

I'm supposed to be a part of this community that is supposed to welcome me in and accept my condition, but I'm not welcome.

My spirits are too high.

There's rules regarding what can be published, most importantly, stories published cannot be similar to existing stories.

But they won't publish an upbeat story unless it's regarding overcoming a struggle.

This community doesn't want to be happy. They scream about wanting to be better, but when presented with the choice, they don't want to take it.

So, that community doesn't represent me.

I may be stuck at the moment. But I won't stay stuck.

I may not be able to work or attend school like I used to, but today I'll learn some more French.

Maybe next month, I'll tackle Latin.

But I'm not letting this world cave in and I'm not accepting this construct that happiness isn't achievable in the world we live in.

A.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

It Hurts

To say I feel less than human, is probably a bit of an understatement. But I do. I've been home for a week. I've managed to pretty much lay in bed in agonizing pain the whole time. I had a half-assed attempt to see a friend that resulted in me rushing home as the nausea and aphasia set in. I successfully made it to massage therapy today. Which meant even after sleeping for roughly 2 hours, I got up at 7:30 and sat in traffic for hours to get to a less than expected appointment. Mind you, my previous massage therapist was so wonderful I'm most likely spoiled to other techniques. This lady was late, she sat in the same god awful traffic I did. We spent more time going over the woes of her morning, than we did discussing why I was there and what I hoped to achieve through various massage techniques. The massage room wasn't dimly lit, and even as the massage started, lights were still on. I found this odd, but decided to just keep my eyes closed. Then she started ...
1 comment
Read more

Positive Notes

Here I go mixing things up before things have really taken off. My featured picture is intended to represent the way chronic illnesses and disabilities are only really seen in black and white. My words are intended to fill in all that grey space that is ignored. But today I needed a little color. Because at the end of the day, there's a lot of brightness and light and hope that is key component to my every day battle. So here's a sneak peak and my brand new apartment. I think I've spent the last 4 or 5 years waiting for the day that I had a place of my own. Not because I wanted freedom to do what I pleased or had the same urge to be an adult and do adult things. I in no way want to make anyone think that adulting is fun or recommended for anyone. I didn't want my own place. I needed it. I needed to not have to snarl at my parents for running the garbage disposal or cutting the grass when my head hurt too badly to get out of bed. I couldn't take one more la...
Post a Comment
Read more

Tips and Tricks: Migraines Without Meds

We've all got that one thing that we know will make us be more comfortable, more ourselves. That little something we feel gives us an edge in whatever we're doing. It's that red pair of shoes that'll make us stand out from the crowd because there really isn't a wrong time to wear them, but they certainly aren't expected. It's that lucky pair of socks. It's the green scarf. It's our lucky pen. We want to be comfortable. But, when we've got outside forces controlling a pulsing sensation in our heads, comfort is about as far away as the sun we're desperately trying to avoid. And if you're in my position, reaching for the bottle of pain killers isn't always the right choice. To be completely honest, my pain meds scare me. Every time I get into some trance while I'm on them. Every time I feel myself coming down. Every time the pain sneaks back in. Some days I convince myself that the medication simply wore off and the br...
Post a Comment
Read more