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Showing posts from 2018

2019, The Year of Recovery

In the dwindling hours of this year that could truly only be compared to a rollercoaster through hell, I have to sit back at least try to find a New Year's Resolution of sorts. Last year I decided that the actually concept is well, shitty to say the least, because goals that are made just to broadcast to the world aren't goals anyone will work through as a year progresses. But, the idea of a New Year's Theme seems much more applicable. 2018 was my year to be selfish, in all aspects of life. It was a year where I decided that no matter what, I would put myself first. When it came to having a space of my own even that would allow me to control every trigger and give me peace of mind, I chose to shove the constant criticism aside. I chose to acknowledge that either relationships would be strengthened, like that of my sister who I became even closer with after moving out, or relationships would be further strained, like that of my sister in-law who's negative e...

Best Life

It's that time of year again. We're bombarded with literally everything. We're desperately trying to set some new goals and leave bad habits in 2018, because I think we all can agree that 2018 seemed to hit us like a freight train. To be honest, that freight train ran me over in February, and yet here I am, in December somehow still going. The next full moon won't be around until next year... so between now and then, I invite you to play a game. Best Life.  It's some cliche game where you're giving some crazy condition and you've got to imagine your best life under those circumstances. So, you've been diagnosed with a chronic illness that's hellbent on taking over your life... best life and go: January  It's snowing and god we wish it would just stop. Snow for Christmas was enough, why the hell are you still excited every time this powdering stuff falls everywhere? Best life: I spent hours at work staring out the win...

Holidays With A Side Of Self Care

Oh how we love the holidays... I mean, there really isn't anything more magical than those moments spent putting up the tree, remembering where each and every ornament came from. Maybe you take on this task alone, like me, and spread out the ornaments dancing around to an old Elvis record, enjoying the simple bliss of watching it all come together. Perhaps, it's an entire family event. Someone is stringing popcorn. Someone has the honor of putting on the tree topper. There's laughter and holiday music and cookies all around... or at least that's how they do it in all the Hallmark movies. We kick off this lovely holiday season with our friends and family and celebrate Thanksgiving. And then for over a month we continue in the holiday spirit with various gatherings, gift giving, and over indulging. But, I can't help but notice that through all the joy this season is supposed to bring, there's an awful lot of melancholy to go around. I think when we...

Eleven

A woman's purse serves as this mysterious black hole that most people stray away from when possible. There's this idea that if we wanted to, we could probably fit our entire living room in that thing and pull it out piece by piece. But, it's really just the items we can't leave home without. For me, that's nausea medicine, low dose medicine, and a higher dose medicine - all that are safe to drive on. Then there's peppermints in case I'm driving and I'm too nauseous to focus but need a distraction to not get sick on that last leg home. And my peppermint oil stick, for when I'm out and about and get nauseous or need to distract myself by an aroma. And my blue light glasses, in case I'm faced with a screen that isn't altered for migraines. My headache balm, to compliment the peppermint oil and relieve some tension in my neck and forehead. And finally my granola bar in case I have to eat in that exact moment. 5 This to go bag of sorts, show...

It's Just Reality

Today was an overall a good day. Disappointing, yes, but it was something I needed. For weeks, I've sat here slowly feeling better bit by bit. It's mostly because the Aimovig is finally leaving my system, so the debilitating effects of that are almost gone. I'm back at my baseline that I was at prior to starting Aimovig, and thankfully with the season's finally settling down the variation of barometric pressure is also much lower. But, in feeling good. I decided to take a shot at a position open at a local spa. I immediately was called in for an interview, and spent part of today shadowing the position. My idea that working in a spa would be good for me, was, well far off. I'd be standing in the front surrounded by large, incredibly bright windows, and I'd be on my feet for the entire shift. Sure, I could do it, but I wouldn't be happy, and there's no guarantee a month from now I'd have anything left in me to keep at it. After gettin...

Seriously, Skip The New Year's Resolution This Year

I'd have to assume you were lying, if you were to say that your favorite things didn't involve that satisfying feeling of buying brand new notebooks and pens and office supplies. It's all SO satisfying. It's a blank canvas. You don't have to struggle as you dig through your old pencil pouch hoping to find a pen with a little bit of ink left. The pens are fresh. You haven't taken any notes yet or started filling in your planner, so that inevitable misspelled word or crooked letter hasn't happened yet. So with 2019 approaching at a rapid rate, I wanted to make your life a little easier. To start, New Years Resolutions are horse shit. You won't change unless you start now. Not tomorrow. Not when a new year commences. Not when the moon is in a different phase. Last year, I finally accepted this idea that a New Year's Resolution, is never actually going to work... so I did this crazy thing where I didn't make one. January 17th rolle...

Seriously Look At The Sky

There's this scene in my favorite movie where Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake are sitting watching some horrible romantic comedy and Marshall from How I Met Your Mother is starring in this made up movie, professing his love to some girl who's leaving him. Insert Mila Kunis in the background saying every part of this scene word for word. Why are you here? / To tell you that I love that sunsets make you cry and I don't care that you failed your real estate exam, and I'm glad that you have a five date rule. And that I love you. There's just something about it. This momentary existence that is the sunset. This consistent event that will happen every day we are on this earth, has such a tremendous impact on each and every one of us. But there isn't anything consistent about it. No two sunsets are alike. Our lives are composed of "moments" and my favorite are caught up in the sky. I'm such a oh my gosh look at the sky person. Contrary to ...