A Monday of Mondays

Today's one of those days where I sit here and ponder why I even made the effort to get out of bed. I'm nauseated. I can't really see straight. I'm not sure if the glaring sun or large amount of potholes did my stomach any good - I'm going to say no because I feel so awful.

But it's midterm week. I can't miss the day that goes over what will be on the exam or the day of the exam, right? I mean I'm sure I could.

But I don't feel like I can.

I got up much too early, and I could barely eat my breakfast. I took the meds I know I'm not supposed to drive on, and hoped that they didn't kick in before I got to campus. They didn't. They still haven't kicked in... neither has my nausea pill.

It's cool today, but inside these halls are stuffy and its hard to breathe. I feel like the air around me is going to swallow me up, but I'm sure my professor and classmates would turn their nose up to having class outside or opening a window.

So here I am. In class. Ready to take on the day.

I'm shaking. But I've got a long list of things to do today, so I'll go back to that idea of hope. I hope I can get through today. I hope my medicine calms my symptoms enough to not be a walking lump. I hope by the time I have to be at work, I know longer feel sick to my stomach.

Frankly, the severe head pain has nothing on all these other symptoms. Is it wrong that I would trade the writhing pain to not have my stomach churning and my heart racing?

Today's a Monday, and I can't wait for this Monday to be over. (Even though its only 8AM)

-A

Comments

Tips and Tricks: Migraines Without Meds

We've all got that one thing that we know will make us be more comfortable, more ourselves. That little something we feel gives us an edge in whatever we're doing. It's that red pair of shoes that'll make us stand out from the crowd because there really isn't a wrong time to wear them, but they certainly aren't expected. It's that lucky pair of socks. It's the green scarf. It's our lucky pen. We want to be comfortable. But, when we've got outside forces controlling a pulsing sensation in our heads, comfort is about as far away as the sun we're desperately trying to avoid. And if you're in my position, reaching for the bottle of pain killers isn't always the right choice. To be completely honest, my pain meds scare me. Every time I get into some trance while I'm on them. Every time I feel myself coming down. Every time the pain sneaks back in. Some days I convince myself that the medication simply wore off and the br

It Hurts

To say I feel less than human, is probably a bit of an understatement. But I do. I've been home for a week. I've managed to pretty much lay in bed in agonizing pain the whole time. I had a half-assed attempt to see a friend that resulted in me rushing home as the nausea and aphasia set in. I successfully made it to massage therapy today. Which meant even after sleeping for roughly 2 hours, I got up at 7:30 and sat in traffic for hours to get to a less than expected appointment. Mind you, my previous massage therapist was so wonderful I'm most likely spoiled to other techniques. This lady was late, she sat in the same god awful traffic I did. We spent more time going over the woes of her morning, than we did discussing why I was there and what I hoped to achieve through various massage techniques. The massage room wasn't dimly lit, and even as the massage started, lights were still on. I found this odd, but decided to just keep my eyes closed. Then she started

Here's My Advice, Take it or Leave It

On one of my last days of work, as I cradled my head and struggled to get through the short shift I had that evening, on the way out, my coworker looked at me and said: "You know, for as bad as you feel, you certainly don't show it" It was the first time I stepped back from a comment like that and realized that she wasn't trying to diminish me. She was coming from a common place. She knew exactly the pain I was in, and was truly almost impressed that I could go on with my day and appear to be a high functioning adult. And that is where this post came from. There's so many of us, who day in and day out are fighting. Fighting for the pain to stop. Fighting for those around us to just let us be or try and understand us. Fighting to hide what's going on. We're all simply fighting to be normal, but we never will be, and that's okay. I took the time to reach out to people with conditions ranging from migraines (like mine), to anxiety and depressio

My Life. My Migraine.

Search This Blog